Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
