If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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