I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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