her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So gin and wine won't be happening again
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
