and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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