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At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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