Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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