He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
