That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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