What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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