I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize