sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
