My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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