drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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