Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
