What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize