Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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