In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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