I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
