The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
