Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
