East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
