I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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