So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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