we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
