I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
