Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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