I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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