At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
