oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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