you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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