You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
