I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
