I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize