So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize