Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
