Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
A+ Viking dick
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
