I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
