Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
