is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
