ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
