Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
