You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
