where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
