We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
