How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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