I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
