Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Still dying that you shit outside
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Randomize
