i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
