So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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