shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
