We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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