I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize