His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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