I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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