We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
sick fucks of a feather flock together
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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