Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
