Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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