Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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