So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
