Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
