In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
