mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
