I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
