But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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